alam mo yung feeling na tumitingin ka sa albums mo sa facebook at sa files mo kasama yung mga kaibigan mo, yung mga dating katrabaho mo, yung mga loved ones mo na bigla ka makakaramdam ng feeling na miss mo silang lahat at kung pano yung buhay mo dati.. kung gano ka kasaya? tangina e.
Back in the day, I was always happy being independent and blaming my own self for my own actions. I was the person who doesn’t want anyone to be involved when it comes to the consequences of my wrong decisions.
I left the Philippines, for work obviously, and for the future. I’m not getting any younger apparently.
While I was still in the Philippines, I was good at mocking myself asking what I should do next besides having this independence, this freedom of doing just about whatever. I went a bit weary and tired. I was in a rush to start my own life with my chosen profession in a different level which landed me in this foreign place that I am in right now. Seriously, I ask myself, what did I get myself into?
During the first couple of weeks that I stayed here, I adjusted (and still adjusting up to this moment). I noticed that I became a bit weak, specially with people. Honestly, people here in general, they are different. I am blended with my own race but I feel so alienated with their character and beliefs. I thought I could be strong like how I was back home, but here, it’s a totally different story.
I was used to working alone, by myself, because in that way I know I have nothing to lose and as I have mentioned, I have no one else to blame but me. I was never used to having tons of workloads, I never really liked wards. I was used to being surrounded in a sterile field, spotlights on, masks, caps, scrub suits — that type of feel. I was never geared enough with this battlefield that I got myself into. It is tough, I might just add.
The experience that I am having here taught me a lot — that, yes, I am thankful. In order to learn more, in order for your dreams to come true, you have to do a little bit of sacrificing. Still, I am thankful.
Nurses are being scorned for being late with medicine, yet they are holding their bladder because they don’t have time to use the restroom, starving because they missed lunch, being peed on, puked on, pooped on, bled on, bitten, hit, YELLED at & are missing their family while taking care of yours. They may even be crying for you. In the minute you read this, nurses all over the world are saving lives.
Tell me about how you got into your line of work. Basically, I had four years of college under BS Nursing. Graduated, took the exams and the rest is history.
Do you like your job? You can say that.
What did you think you were going to be when you grew up? A painter, stewardess, teacher, accountant and an engineer. Never did it cross my mind that I would be a nurse one day.
What did you want to be when you grew up? I wanted to be an engineer, a writer then eventually thought of becoming a nurse during high school.
What lessons has your work life taught you? Time is precious, you have to take things seriously because this work deals with people’s lives. You have to be tough and while being tough you should be caring at the same time. You should learn to empathize and not sympathize.
If you could do anything now, what would you do? Why? I would want to go home, be with my friends and go some place for a retreat. Basically because I miss my life with them. I miss those times that I can just be myself and enjoy as much as I could. Now, with the lifestyle that I have, I feel useless in a way.
Do you plan on retiring? If so, when? How do you feel about it? Yes, of course. Not anytime soon though. I would probably feel good about myself because I know I achieved something in life.